I’m hurting today. I’m lost today. I’m overwhelmed.
School. Work. Life. Love. I can’t keep up. I’ve lost sense of who I am. Lost sense of who I’ve been. Losing sense of everything. I need to vanish but I need to bloom. I need to stand tall as myself, but I need to take time for me. I am a swirling mess. I have no focus point. I’m burnt out and tired. Tired of trying, tired of thinking, tired of sleeping, tired of laying, tired of being.
I wasn't supposed to go dark so quickly, yet here I am. Depleted.
I thought I had found someone, I was wrong. Honestly, dealing with that loss has been a lot. I don't know what to make of it. I don't know what she wants. I know what I wanted, but I don't know if I want it from this person anymore. I know how I should feel but I cant bring myself to end it. I like the attention.
I need to reshift all of my focus, but first I must close this chapter. I can’t go on playing this game with her. I wish I had the time, but I just don’t and now I’m falling behind. Oh well.
I don't even have the energy to have a conversation with myself right now. I’m hot and tired. Fuck.